Bug in My Ear

 

It was a perfect Spring morning in my back yard garden near the patio. My wife Shanaz was sleeping peacefully in the house after her night shift at the hospital and I was happy to do some clean-up chores outside so as not to make noise in the house that might disturb her.

With my lawn waste bag in tow, I had finished clearing away the dried leaves and brush from the Fall to make way for more new growth. I saw the gnat or small fly buzz near my face as it swerved in a tight elliptical path that seemed like it would take it behind my head. Suddenly I winced at the miniscule but inescapable impact of the creature penetrating my ear canal. My hand reflexively dug at my ear to retrieve the beastie but it was too late. Even worse, it descended more deeply inside the passageway.

Taking off my work gloves and laying aside the lawn bag I went into the house to find cotton swabs to help remove the little buggar. I saw that Shanaz had gone up to our bedroom from the couch where she had been resting earlier. That was a relief as I did not want to bother her with my rummaging through the kitchen cabinet looking for cotton swabs that I remembered we kept there.

As I searched, the tiny but actively squirming insect was rustling about inside my ear. It's scritching sounds and the sensations it made against the lining of the ear canal were becoming increasingly unnerving and intolerable. As you might have guessed, my attempts at drawing it out with the cotton swab only made matters worse as it hunkered down further (if that was possible!) into the recesses of my auditory passage.

I was becoming desperate. The bulb! I recalled we used to have a rubber suction bulb left over from when our kids were infants. We used it to help clear their nasal passageways of mucus. I thought it might be in the box where we kept first aid supplies.

No. Couldn't find it. By now the sensation of the bug rustling about near what must be my ear drum was becoming unbearable. I stuck my head sideways under the kitchen sink faucet to perhaps flush out the intruder. But from that I got a wet head and seemed to cause the bug to agitate more.

I was determined not to disturb Shanaz so I decided to drive to the corner pharmacy and find one of those "mucus-sucking" bulbs. My frantic desperation was exhilarating as I searched the store. Where were all the staff? "There is no one to ask for help now that I need it!" I got in line to ask a pharmacist. Now I was actually feeling pain radiating from my ear. Was it stress? Was it going to get worse? Was the bug going to eat my brain!?!

The line was too long. I couldn't stand waiting there. My agitation was becoming less manageable so I left the pharmacy. The mile drive home seemed to take forever. Back at the house I was at least relieved that Shanaz was still asleep upstairs.

My next thought was to search for information on the internet. My experience has taught me that would not necessarily help. Similar searches for home remedies led me to conspiracy theories or other rabbit holes. But my desperation was high and I had exhausted all other avenues of help.

Could it be? It didn't take long to find a reasonable remedy. Olive oil. Putting such a substance in my ear would suffocate the insect and it would eventually be expelled naturally. I couldn't get out the olive oil fast enough. We had a thin nozzle that would allow the process. It actually felt soothing as the olive oil trickled into my ear canal. The bug's activity ceased after a few minutes. The relief seemed nearly miraculous.

Hours later, after Shanaz had awoke from her rest I related the story and how I finally, after many attempts to solve my dilemma, I found the remedy through using olive oil.

"I could have told you that," she said.