Pain and The Welcoming Consciousness

 

Illustration © by O. Douglas Jennings. All rights reserved.

Embracing Pain with a Welcoming Consciousness 

There is a technique that helps you practice releasing past regrets, pain and trauma and perhaps discover something unexpected in the process. It’s a kind of "Welcoming Consciousness”. This practice invites you to look at moments in your life where you've been hurt or offended, either recently or in the past.

Start by acknowledging the pain caused by the hurt or offense. Lean in and re-experience the way you felt when it happened, either in the past or right now. Notice how the pain is present in your body. This step matters because if you try to analyze it mentally, you might fall into binary thinking like good/bad, winner/loser, either/or.

Feel the pain, along with the sadness and anger, without getting caught up in a typical win/lose perspective. Connect with the part of life that experiences suffering: understand how much it hurts to be hurt and what it's like to feel abandoned if you were abandoned. Keep this feeling within you, in your emotional and physical space, rather than overthinking it or constructing a narrative around it.

When you're able to reach this point and truly grasp the extent of the pain, you'll find it hard to wish that experience upon anyone else. This might take a little time. Embrace this experience, as it can lead you to a state of “Great Compassion." Don't resist it or look for someone to blame. It's important to only observe and acknowledge and accept the feelings you experience.

Accept the weight of grief and anger without pushing it away. Doing so will turn these emotions into valuable teachers. If you manage to follow this approach, you'll realize that welcoming pain and releasing resistance towards suffering will actually liberate you from it. It's like shifting your perspective in reverse. Who would have thought? It's often our refusal to accept things as they are that contributes to much of our unhappiness. At least, that's been true in my experience.

Adapted from "The Art of Letting Go: Living the Wisdom of Saint Francis."